Your Money. Your Move.

Why smart women avoid their money

• Holly Wallis

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Fear of opening the banking app is common—and completely human. In this episode, we trace the real reasons we delay money decisions, from decision overload and shame after mistakes to the surprising urge to avoid even when things look good because we don’t want to puncture a fragile sense of security. Then we offer a kinder path forward: a tiny habit that breaks the avoidance loop, restores agency, and makes space for steady, confident choices.

We talk about what we learned about money, why the status quo pushes us toward short-term comfort, and how that “comfort now, consequences later” trade keeps stress humming in the background. Instead of chasing harsh fixes or rigid rules, we define financial clarity in practical terms—seeing what’s coming in, what’s going out, and what matters most today—so you can say a clear yes or a calm not-yet to travel, projects, and everyday spending. You’ll hear how to tie quick money check-ins to existing routines, reduce friction with a simple dashboard, and create a low-stress ritual that keeps you coming back.

By the end, you’ll have a workable way to replace guessing with knowing and second-guessing with confidence. No perfectionism, no marathon budgets—just small, repeatable steps that make your money feel supportive. Grab the free guide mentioned in the show to help you look at your money even when you’d rather not, and let me know how you’ll make your next check-in stress-free. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick rating or review to help more women build clarity and calm with their money.


Links I mentioned in this episode:

FREE GUIDE: 3 Easy Steps To Look At Your Money (even when you'd rather not)


Additional Resources:

Learn more about working with me at HollyWallisCoaching.com

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Holly:

Welcome to Your Money, Your Move, the podcast for women who want more from their money. Here, money is made simple, practical, and actually doable for your life. You'll get a straightforward way to work with your money so you can see your finances clearly, enjoy life now, and feel secure about tomorrow. I'm your host, and personal finance and profitability coach, Holly Wallis.

Holly:

In today's episode, we're exploring the tendency we all have of putting off looking at our money. Not because we're intentionally trying to be careless, but because money feels complicated, heavy, or like something we'll just get to later. So we're going to talk about why this happens, what it's really costing you, and a simple way to shift that pattern from stressful to stress less.

Holly:

I was just thinking as I was planning this episode that I'm having a more stressful week than usual. Some of that stress feels kind of exciting and motivating, and some feels like a total drag. I notice that when I'm in that good stress mood, getting things done and feeling really productive, I look at my money constantly, like it motivates me to keep going. And when it's bad stress, the last thing I want to do is look at another bill or think about what surprise might be coming around the corner. This isn't unusual, but my guess is that stressed, nervous, and uncertain is not how you want to feel about your money.

Holly:

We are all highly capable women. We make good money, we take care of ourselves and our families, and about a thousand other things at the same time. And when it comes to financial decisions, the delay in looking at our money isn't about our intelligence or ability. It's often about the emotions and feelings that have become connected to that money. So I asked the women that I work with in my financial coaching program about the reasons they find themselves avoiding their money and here is what they said: They avoid when there are too many choices, too many decisions to make, or it feels too complicated. They give up when they aren't sure what to do or what they're supposed to be looking at. They put it off when they feel like they're not doing it right, they have made a mistake or missed something, or something hasn't gone as planned. I think we can all relate to those reasons, and it doesn't stop there. They also said they avoid looking when their money situation doesn't feel positive. But they also don't want to look when their money situation is good because they don't want any surprises to ruin their feeling of security. When they want to be optimistic about the future or know that something good is coming, like a windfall, a new job, or maybe a higher paycheck, they delay looking at their money because their current situation no longer feels like reality. They only want to imagine what they'll have when their bank balance changes.

Holly:

I am madly writing down all these reasons, and I'm thinking this has to be true for so many women. And in listening to them explain their feelings, I could see how I've made some of those same choices. I know for sure that when life is good, it feels like everything is working exactly as it should. So I can let go of the reins a little.

Holly:

But you know what? We didn't just decide one day, hey, I know, I'm just not gonna look at my money anymore and see what happens. Many of us were taught by example from our parents or other adults in our life to see money as stressful, complicated, or even something that we should never talk about. We saw grown-ups arguing about how they were gonna pay the bills or where the money went, or we saw mom biting her lip as she balanced her checkbook at the kitchen table every week. Seeing those examples play out repeatedly, we learned over and over that money means stress and at the same time, something we can't escape. And when something feels emotionally heavy, delaying that discomfort at all cost feels so much safer than facing it head on.

Holly:

I think we've all heard at some point that research shows finances as the leading cause of stress in relationships and a top source of anxiety. A recent CreditWise survey found that a staggering 73% of Americans saw money as their number one worry, even above work, family, and politics. And the American Psychological Association has said the same for nearly two decades. With pressure like that, avoiding that peak at your money can definitely feel like relief in the moment. But what's the cost?

Holly:

So let's take a look at what delaying that look at your money is actually costing you. I think back to my clients that I mentioned earlier when they said that they don't just avoid money when the situation isn't great. They also avoid looking when their money situation is good because they don't want any surprises to ruin their feeling of security. That one really hit me. It makes perfect sense. I feel secure right now, so why disrupt that when looking at my bank accounts makes me feel anxious and stressed? It also makes me think about how our brains like to choose one direction and stick to it without looking at all the possible scenarios. It's a little like when your mom offered you carrots or cookies for your snack. You knew carrots were better for you, but there was only one obvious choice: the cookies.

Holly:

We learn quickly what makes us feel good, and we just keep doing that. Behavioral economist Richard Taylor said people have a strong tendency to stick with the status quo. Resistance to change is powerful, even when the change is clearly in their best interest.

Holly:

So bringing this back around to money, avoiding money feels protective, like the cookie. But in reality, it's like eating cookies for dinner every night. Comfort now, consequences later. The reality is that while we think we're protecting ourselves, we're actually creating more stress because even when we're not looking at your money, your worry still lingers in the background. The proof, if you weren't worried, you wouldn't feel the need to protect yourself.

Holly:

We all know deep down that money is unavoidable in the end. We have to live with it. And the more we try, the more the money decisions pile up and the heavier they get. So that protection that we think we're surrounding ourselves with is not protection at all. But there's one foolproof way to protect ourselves, ensure our security, and feel comfortable with our money choices, and that's clarity.

Holly:

Clarity just means you can see your money clearly and understand exactly what it's doing for you. It's a difference between guessing and knowing, between second guessing yourself and feeling steady and confident in your money decisions. In real life, when you have financial clarity, you know exactly how much is coming in and going out and where it's going. You can look at your accounts and immediately know if you can say yes to a trip, a home project, or a new pair of shoes and know that it's the right choice for you. You have a clear view of your money priorities that suit your lifestyle today, your next year's goals, and your future dreams. And you make decisions faster because you're not stuck in should I or shouldn't I?

Holly:

Clarity means that you have peace of mind, freedom to choose, and confidence when it comes to your money. Hey, clarity is cookies and carrots. Feels good and good for you.

Holly:

So now let's talk about how you go from delaying looking at your money to clarity and confidence in one easy step.

Holly:

Whenever we consider changing our money habits, we think of making a drastic change that is the exact polar opposite of how we do things right now. Like going from spending freely one day to cutting up all of your credit cards and vowing never to spend another penny the next. It's impossible to sustain change when it's sweeping and drastic.

Holly:

So I want to give you something really easy that you can do today. And I know that the last thing you need to hear is go look at your bank accounts, as if you don't know that already. It's like your mom telling you that you should eat more carrots. Instead, I want to give you a real habit you can implement right now.

Holly:

Instead of forcing yourself to look at your money, I want you to notice the moment you feel the urge to avoid it. Take a pause and ask yourself, what am I choosing to do instead of opening my bank account right now? Maybe you're scrolling, shopping online, pouring a glass of wine, playing a game on your phone, or even diving into more work.

Holly:

Then ask, what exactly am I feeling right now that makes me not want to look? Then decide what move you want to make next. Stick with what you're doing, or change it up.

Holly:

It's your money, your move.

Holly:

That pause is so powerful because in that moment, you're no longer running on autopilot. You're giving yourself the choice to keep avoiding your money, or the choice to take even a tiny step toward financial clarity, confidence, and a plan. Once you know what's really happening, the avoidance starts to lose its grip.

Holly:

Honestly, the one thing I wish I knew sooner is that the more you pay attention to your money, the easier it is to make choices that feel right for you. You naturally use your money with more intention, and that makes it go further than you'd expect. That's why I put together a free guide to help you learn how to do this exact thing. Go to the link in the show notes and download three easy steps to look at your money, even when you'd rather not. And I just want to say what I love about this guide is that it helps you identify all the factors that keep you from looking at your money. And it gives you really easy to implement steps to break the avoidance loop for good. So go to the link in the show notes and grab your copy.

Holly:

Now, what I really want you to take away from this episode is that looking at your money is not something you should feel obligated to do. I don't want you to just do it because you think, well, I know it's what I'm supposed to do. When you create a money habit that is easy and stress-free, it becomes something you want to do instead of something you have to do.

Holly:

Women ask me all the time, how often should I be looking at my money? There's that should word again, as if there is some hard and fast rule for it. I want you to get less attached to the expectation that you're supposed to be perfect with your money and that the only way to do it right is to micromanage your finances. And instead, I want you to figure out what will make looking at your money enjoyable, empowering, and put you back in the driver's seat so you feel confidently in control of your money.

Holly:

Think about how can I make this as stress-free as possible so it's just feeling better to keep doing.

Holly:

And that's today's episode. I hope you found a little something that you can take with you and try out on your own. Let me know how you're enjoying this podcast. And if you're new here, make sure you hit the subscribe button so that you'll get past and future episodes right on your feed.

Holly:

Also, if you enjoy my content, make sure you give me a rating. I read every testimonial and comment personally, and I love to interact with all of you. Keep listening to upcoming episodes because we've got more conversations ahead to help you make big money moves in your life. And with that, I'm Holly Wallis, personal finance and profitability coach, and this has been Your Money, Your Move. Talk to you in the next episode.

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Holly Wallis

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